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October 07 Back from the wedding ceremony of my brother第一次参加婚礼竟然感动得哭了。。。
那一刻原来真的那么神圣。。。
爱 真的很简单。。。
祝福身边所有善良的人,能坚持到那一天! July 26 无题最近很忙
最近很累
最近很down
却不知道这一切有没有价值
我好想好想飞
逃离这个疯狂世界
那么多苦 那么多累
那么多莫名的泪水
为什么偏要用力得浪费再用力得后悔?就不能知足么?最初的梦想去哪里了?
太累了,没力气去想。
To dear deskmate: I am always on your side.
June 15 Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.作为Apple公司的Fan,无意中浏览到2005年Steve Jobs在斯坦福大学毕业典礼上的发言,很是感动,很受启发!在此与各位分享,但愿大家能从中获得力量! I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I've ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That's it. No big deal. Just three stories. The first story is about connecting the dots. I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out? It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: "We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?" They said: "Of course." My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college. And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents' savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn't see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn't interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting. It wasn't all romantic. I didn't have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends' rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5¢ deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example: Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn't have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can't capture, and I found it fascinating. None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, its likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later. Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life. My second story is about love and loss. I was lucky — I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees. We had just released our finest creation — the Macintosh — a year earlier, and I had just turned 30. And then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating. I really didn't know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down - that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me — I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over. I didn't see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life. During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I returned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple's current renaissance. And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together. I'm pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn't been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle. My third story is about death. When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something. Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart. About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn't even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor's code for prepare to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you'd have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes. I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and I'm fine now. This was the closest I've been to facing death, and I hope its the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept: No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true. Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary. When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960's, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions. Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: "Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish." It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. Thank you all very much
BGM:1.2.3.4--Feist May 17 About Future and Now 刚看完Grey's Anatomy season 5的大结局,自然又被可恶的“大妈”骗掉n张餐巾纸!明知不能入戏太深,不过借机抒发一下自己的情绪也不失为妙举。忽然想起上周在公司疯忙的时候收到的一封PA,标题是:Life is short but we know it late. 它让我烦躁的心暂时得到了一丝平静。 邮件大致记录了一个和Izzie差不多的癌症末期女孩结婚的场景,身边所有人都含着泪光,她和她的丈夫幸福地微笑着。那个女孩终究离去,但是她的心却找到了安息之处。
你永远不会知道下一刻将发生什么,但是这并不影响你依然会对未来精心得计划着,因为对未来的期待是你现在所作所为的动力。你曾经身陷这样的两难困境么?无论你怎么选择你都会后悔,后悔你曾经为了未知的将来而选择的改变,或者后悔你当初没有选择改变而维持现状。你曾经因为说过或没说过某些话而后悔么?因为那个被你伤害或者被你在乎的人可能再也不知道你的真实想法了。人们通常到了失去的时候才会珍惜,但是人们认真创造未来的时候并不知道将要失去什么。所以坚强点,坚持下去,对每个选择慎重考虑,告诉身边的人你的感受,因为可能某一天now会变成never。
很欣赏Meredith的开场白和总结语,贴在这里与大家共勉:
Here's to the Future
Opening: When something begins, you generally have no idea how it’s going to end. The house you’re going to sell becomes your home, the roommates you were forced to take in become your family and the one night stand you were determined to forget becomes the love of your life. Closing: We spend our whole lives worrying about the future, planning for the future, trying to predict the future, as if figuring it out will cushion the blow. But the future is always changing. The future is the home of our deepest fears and wildest hopes. But one thing is certain when it finally reveals itself. The future is never the way we imagined it.
Now or Never
Opening: Doctors spend a lot of time focused on the future, planning it, working toward it. But at some point you start to realise your life is happening now. Not after med school, not after residency, right now. This is it. It’s here. Blink and you’ll miss it. Closing: Did you say it?' I love you. I don't ever want to live without you. You changed my life.' Did you say it? Make a plan. Set a goal. Work toward it, but every now and then, look around; Drink it in cause this is it. It might all be gone tomorrow.
April 25 转老罗语录--犬儒主义与理想主义 听完很激动,但心很凉……
C选项呢,cynicism,刚才cynical也考了一个,这是很重要的GRE词汇,是“犬儒主义”,是吧。我们习惯上,现在英语里一般把它翻成“愤世嫉俗、玩世不恭”。这就是古希腊的一个思想流派犬儒主义。犬就是狗,儒就是知识分子思想的大师,是吧,犬儒就是狗大师的意思。(笑)这个不要笑,本来就是这样。创始人叫安提斯提尼,他的徒弟叫狄奥根尼,学哲学的同学都学过,是吧。狄奥根尼他们这一派认为那一切什么乱七八糟的生活都没意思,提倡回归自然,回归简朴,就好像一个狗一样地生活。这样导致的结果是自称是一条纯种的狗。古希腊的人很尊重他,不敢把他叫狗,他很生气说“N~~明明是狗为什么不叫狗?”大家战战兢兢地在后面添了一个“儒”,表示狗大师,是吧,表示对他的尊重。这概念翻译到中国来的时候,早期的中国知识分子酸溜溜地文绉绉翻译成这么独特的词,何必呢?就翻译成“狗大师”大家都明白。就是这派犬儒主义者。
这派起初都是些愤世嫉俗的人,后来理想破灭,蜕变成玩世不恭。我们说愤世嫉俗和玩世不恭,表现形式很相似,是不是表现很相似?骨子里是截然不同的,但表现形式很相似,对世俗的东西都是讽刺和挖苦,都是这样。尽管这样,骨子里截然不同,愤世嫉俗的人是激烈的纯粹的理想者,玩世不恭的人是彻底的虚无主义者,本质是截然对立的,但表现形式有很多相似的地方。当然我们处在一个不讲理想斗争的一个平庸年代,是吧,稳定压倒一切的弱智年代里,我们不再讲理想斗争了,很多人对这个激烈的理想主义,蜕变成彻底……理想者的蜕变已经感到陌生了。其实我们生活中理想主义者到处都有,好比说我们对人生事业的理想啊,就说生活中普通的理想你总有吧,比如说爱情上的理想主义者。小伙不错,内在外在都很好,大学四年没谈恋爱,为什么?好多女孩子追他都不答应,为什么?因为他是爱情上的理想主义者,坚信有个女孩等了他五百年之类的,就不谈。看到,呃这个就是那个,是吧,然后就谈起来,谈得挺高兴,一个星期以后发现这个女孩子同时有七个男朋友。一个纯粹的爱情上的理想主义者理想破灭了,由于脆弱,蜕变成一个彻底的虚无主义者,结果怎么样?本来抽烟,改抽烟斗,是吧,然后留起了长头发和胡子,躲在宿舍阴暗的角落里,一脸阴沉,委怅的表情在那儿抽烟,是吧,然后边上几个师弟在那儿讨论自己谈恋爱的事情,很兴奋,满脸幸福的光芒,他却撇撇嘴说爱情这东西纯粹是胡扯,如此一个星期约会七个不同的女孩,是吧。最激烈的纯粹的理想主义者最容易蜕变成彻底的虚无主义,因为他的理想太纯粹了,经不起打击,是吧,就是这样。我们身边到处都是这样的例子,我刚刚举的只是一个方面,好多方面都是这样,一个人理想越纯粹越容易蜕变。当然如果你足够坚强就没事,像老罗这么坚强的话,尽管在很多方面是一个理想主义者,受到无数锤炼,是吧,猛就猛在这里。(笑)我不是开玩笑的,今天我们这个比较恶劣的大环境下,我们看到这个社会上大部分的人都是这样。你们十七八岁、二十岁的时候,有哪一个不是理想主义者?都是充满了正直的,正义感的这种理想主义者,没有错,这才是好的,这才是健康的。大了或者高中毕业了走进这个残酷的社会,残酷的现实一次次打击,这个恶心的世界教给你的就是什么?圆滑世故的人才有前途。你是一个理想的,纯粹主义这样一个人,正直的这么一个人,处处表现自己正义的这方面,什么下场?没什么好下场。这是社会出了问题,不是你出了问题。结果导致的结果是什么?在我们今天的中国社会里,圆滑世故XXXX,这是多变态的一种局面啊。我今年32岁了,我仍然敢说我是理想者,我这辈子见到的活人里面——在我的身边——没有一个到了32岁还认为自己是理想主义者的。结果这些受不起生活的残酷打击,为了保护自己蜕变成圆滑世故的人,还有了幻觉,认为自己那是成熟,然后动不动说老罗,你这个想法挺幼稚的。(笑)他们是因为脆弱你知道吗?他们是脆弱。我也受过跟他一样,甚至更加残酷的打击,不改变我对正确事物的看法。所以你打我你就打我,我被打伤了回去添伤口,一样,仍然是一个理想主义者,是吧。如果你们在座的到了30岁还敢自称是一个理想主义者,那我就服了你,是吧,我就服了你。我在这个社会上……(笑)不要太激动,要保持冷静,(笑)是吧。
我们讲这个犬儒主义这个词,本来是愤世嫉俗的人,他们是些激烈的理想主义者,都是非常有正义感的知识分子,后来残酷的现实打击,最后他们蜕变成了彻底的玩世不恭的人。所以我们今天理解cynical, cynicism, cynics的时候,他有愤世嫉俗的表现形式,但骨子里他不是愤世嫉俗的人。虚无主义者、犬儒主义,他有愤世嫉俗的表现形式,但骨子里他是玩世不恭的人,彻底的虚无主义。我们理解怎么理解cynicism就是彻底的虚无主义,他是玩世不恭的,当然表现形式有愤世嫉俗的那些言行,骨子里是玩世不恭和彻底的虚无主义。还有两个方式的精确理解。有两句话,是吧,一个是韦氏辞典上释义非常好,什么样的人是犬儒主义者,就是“相信人的一切行为都是自私自利驱使的”,这个人除了自私自利什么都不相信,他觉得自己这样子很聪明,这种人叫做犬儒主义者,是吧,这种人叫做cynics。还有个知道吗,著名作家王尔德有一句名言说得非常好,他说什么样的人是cynics这样的人,就是这种人知道所有的事情的价格,price,但是他不知道所有事情的value,价值,听懂了吗?这样的人叫做犬儒主义者,是吧。所以我们今天理解这个词从这几个层面去把握你就很准了,他是一个玩世不恭的人,是一个彻底虚无主义者,有一些愤世嫉俗的表现,但骨子里他不是愤世嫉俗的人,是玩世不恭的,彻底虚无,相信人的一切行为被自私自利驱使的,这就是对cynics最精确的把握,是吧。你知道这个就行了。相应的你知道了这个,我也给你讲了我是个什么样的人,我希望我们班上不要再有那些残废同学结课的时候在教师评语上,你可以骂我,给低分,什么都没关系,但不要说我是一个cynics,这是完全不了解我,我骨子里,我有愤世嫉俗的表现,我不是一个犬儒主义者,是吧,从来都不是,从来就没想是,以后也不是。我的学生说我too cynical,这种评语,每个班都有两三个残废写上这个评语,我一看就特别地生气,因为这说明了两个,要么说明我教得不好,以至于你不理解,要么就是对我完全的误解,我是愤世嫉俗的人,但我不是cynics,cynics不是愤世嫉俗,骨子里是玩世不恭,彻底虚无主义、圆滑世故,相信人类一切行为是自私自利驱使的。
中国社会最多的就是这种人,我们中国社会最多的就是这种cynics。你们不要觉得这种古希腊的概念跟我们没有什么关系,其实中国人是最应该学习到底什么是cynics以及他是怎么形成的,是吧,我们社会最严重的就是这种犬儒主义。从什么时候出现的呢?我们说,根据著名政治评论家欧文.豪的观点,所有的极+权社会都经历了三个阶段,不同的时期:建立一个极+权政权以后,给国民洗脑、灌输,让他以为自己生活在全世界最幸福的地方,我们那时候穷得要死,勉强吃饱饭,营养不良,但是整天想的是拯救美国人,大家知道吗?那时候去拯救美国,水生火热中的美国人。所以第一个时期是新政治的乌托邦时期,新中国历史上乌托邦时期是什么时候?顶峰是什么时候?大+跃+进的时候。你看那个时期中国人的那些黑白纪录片,现在看的话,长得都不一样,几亿人,但表情都一样,神情刚毅、目光亢奋,是吧,眼睛里闪烁着火热的东西,坚信自己为人间天堂乌托邦社会。接下来,这种大规模的民族狂热不受控制,诱发了大规模的恐惧,是极+权政治的人间地狱时期。新东方历……新东方去了,是吧,新中国历史上的人间地狱——文化大革命,即使共产党也承认吧,也不否认把文化大革命叫做人间地狱,是吧。经历了这种大规模的激情,但是呢狂热,激情、狂热、恐惧,耗尽了人民全部的力气,大家通通理想破灭,进入了麻木不仁的第三个犬儒主义时期。新中国历史上犬儒主义时期什么时候开始的?前苏联、中国都是这个德性,什么时候开始的?四人帮七十年代末八十年代初,三中全会以后,在我们这个国家里从普遍的理想,开始发现那些都很恶心,假的虚的以后,开始人们只谈经济建设,政治改革不搞,只搞经济改革。从七十年代末八十年代初开始,在这个国家里只谈钱,只有钱被认为是诚实的,只要是敢在文艺界、思想界、艺术界谈什么理想主义,马上被大家炒作成罪人,搞得都不敢提理想主义。最严重的这十多年,理想主义这个词都不敢谈,被认为是跟狗屎一样恶心的东西,这是社会出了问题。理想主义有没有错?没有错。文化大革命那些理想破灭并不说明理想主义本身有了问题,是其他的方面出了问题,是吧,但是理想主义在这个社会上却受到了普遍的歧视。
犬儒主义盛行的社会里,道德是严重扭曲的,你们不知道,你们因为已经过了中国犬儒主义最恶心最盛行的那个时期。我不一样,我是七十年代初出生的,八十年代就是我青少年迷茫时期,中国也是犬儒主义最盛行的时期,我作为中国最后一个激烈的理想主义少年,在一片黑压压的犬儒主义中,苦苦地成长和挣扎,心里不停地想,中国的未来究竟要往哪里去?(笑)很痛苦的。我们那个时期的社会道德扭曲到什么程度?我上了公共汽车,一个老年人,我要站起来让座,被我的同龄人看见我就惨了,他们会鄙~~~着眼光打量我,指指点点,就说“这小子太他妈恶心了,就你道德高尚?装什么装?”你们看就一个跟老年人让座的问题。社会道德扭曲到了这个程度。当然现在也一直好转必须承认,到了今天你在中国的公共汽车上给老年人让座,有没有人鄙着眼光看你了?没了,是吧,说明我们在好转,但仍然没有达到一个健康社会应该达到的一个社会公德标准。比如说我在韩国的地铁里看过这样的景象:一个年轻人坐着不给老年人让座,边上的人开始窃窃私语都在说他,然后这个傻子还在那儿没反应,最后一个中年人实在忍不住了,手里执着报纸卷成一团,砸这个小伙子脑门,咣一砸,说:“小兔崽子,赶紧让起来,老人家站了半天了!”然后边上的人一个泼辣,都开始指指点点,就像说过街老鼠一样,弄得这小子抱头鼠窜满脸通红,嘴里嘀咕了一句我一听还是中文,(笑)不是韩国青年。不是说韩国青年道德高尚,见了老人必然让座,而是,健康的社会里,社会公德使得不给老年人让座简直就是过街老鼠,听懂了吗?在中国有没有达到这种高度?还没有达到。我们今天在公共汽车上,年轻力壮的不给老年人让座,大家觉得小伙子不好这是很常见的,但是不会因此引起众怒,大家都让这小子让座,还没有达到这种程度,说明我们还有很长的距离要走,是吧。今天在中国所谓的理想无非就是什么?赚点钱,然后到国外念个书,最好,如果回国,也是被外国公司收为雇员,再外派到中国做一个代表,赚很多的钱,建一个洋楼,娶个老婆,养几条狗,(笑)不就是这些理想吗?你想这些没有错,但你敢说这是理想吗?你可以讲这些,我们不要求每个人都那么道德高尚,但一个健康社会这种东西是一个生活的基本要求,不叫理想。但在中国这些被当成是一个理想。所以你看这个社会,是一个很严重的问题,尽管一直在改善,是吧,还有很长的路要走。
犬儒主义跟我们不是没有关系的,身边全是这种货色。年纪轻轻,充满了理想,到了三四十岁,由于残酷打击,变得XX,然后产生幻觉,觉得自己成熟。我身边不都是这种货色吗?新东方开个破会,新来的,包括老教师,有一些对领导有所求的,相当个官或弄点什么的,上去一发言,满嘴全是他妈拍马屁的,听得人上吐下泻。然后让我发言,我说我不发言,我没什么话好说,然后领导说,诶~你是老教师,又是什么教师委员会的,一定要发言。我说我没好听的,他们笑眯眯地说“上去吧”,(笑)然后我上去了。我上去没有好听的,我是一个批评者,从来不是一个什么。上去把我看到的恶心事儿咣咣说了六七个,领导脸色全变了。然后我下来以后,我说“讲得怎么样?”然后他们XX“哎呀,下次你不要发言了。”(笑)然后晚上出去吃饭,其他老教师又来劲了,说老罗……我说什么幼稚嘛,我说你是圆滑世故,我是理想主义,两码事儿,你要说我幼稚,那肯定傻逼,是吧。(笑)我对这个地方没所求,我就教书赚钱,我无所求,当然,君子坦荡荡,你无所求你就没有顾忌,是吧,就是这样。
我因为我这个性格,骠悍的性格,走进这个社会,吃了不少苦头,你没法想象,改变不了我坚持做一个理想主义者,是吧。好比我说我为了别人做些努力,结果他们反过来咬我一口,我们在生活里经常碰到这种现象,一般脆弱的人是什么反应?好比你帮了一个人结果他反过来咬你一口,脆弱的人什么反应?开始为了保护自己说“以后我再不帮人了”,这就是典型的犬儒主义者。听懂了吗?这样讲你能听懂吗?好比我帮了一个人,他反咬我一口,固然很生气。我帮他这件事做得对不对?如果对的话,下次我碰到这种事儿我该帮还是不该帮?我不是为了这个人去做了帮他这件事,而是为了我信奉的原则去做了这件事,听懂这个差别了吗?坚强的人就是这样,是吧。(鼓掌)不是因为帮了这个人,他咬你你就再不帮别人了,没那事儿。好比我开车,一个老太太在马路边上,病了要送医院,我下来把这老太太送到医院去了,结果怎么样?她子女来了说是我撞的,反咬一口,在中国经常看到这种报道。大部分中国人,或者说大部分脆弱的人,什么反应?下次再碰到老太太,一看,躺在路边,救不救?不救了。如果是我怎么办?该救还是救。如果她子女再来咬我,是不是说明我就不应该救这个老太太了?救这个老太太是不该,但是,(笑)下一次的老太太如果不是这个老太太,是不是还得救?该救还是要救的。而且以我的性格,如果她子女胆敢反咬我一口,我把钱赔给她,她的子女下半辈子不用干别的了,就陪我玩儿就是了。我就追到天涯海角我让你十倍二十倍地还回来,是吧,就是这个样子。所以你足够坚强的话,坚持原则的话,是吧,吃点苦又怎么样呢?就那么回事儿。再一来这种悲壮的感觉使我比别人,总是觉得生活质量非常的好。我今年32岁了,到哪儿一说没人信,都说我特像二十多岁,是吧。(笑)很多人不同意那就算了。如果你同意的话我就告诉你为什么,我一辈子不做勾心斗角的事情,我当然活得很年轻,就是这个样子。猛男,是吧。(笑,鼓掌)身体不怎么样,身体一般,是吧,不健康,但是骨子里,心灵深处是一个猛男,是吧。(笑)好,我有点激动了,是吧。这是cynicism,很严肃的一个话题,是吧,不讲了。 April 08 自行车我有一辆自行车,天蓝色的,很漂亮,伴随了我八年……
印象中,每个上学的清晨,我喜欢猛踩踏板,然后闭上眼睛让它在那条人烟稀少的小路上滑行。特别是阳光明媚的日子里,耳边抚过和风,心里荡漾着满足感。我喜欢它的另一个原因是:不同于其他的交通工具,自行车能任由你支配。那个时候,我可以推着它陪同学一起走回家,一路分享稀奇古怪的想法;和小伙伴一圈一圈得在家附近绕,直到下雨才不舍得分离;甚至吵架之后“嗖”一声加速,不计后果得转身而去……然而,忽然有一天我丢失了它。恩~~随着时间的推移,我已不需要它了。现在每天乘地铁上班,看到张张疲惫的面孔,我有些想念我的自行车。生活的规律始终是前进的。可能将来我会拥有自己的轿车,不用挤拥挤的地铁,但是我不可能再拥有一辆自行车了。那样简单的日子也不会回来了……
在某个休假的下午,阳光很温柔,桃花铺洒在地面,一切都很美好。当我正沉浸在小小的满足中,忽然,一辆自行车从身边划过,头发随风飘起。顿时,心中涌起一阵莫名的伤感!脑海里此时浮现出日剧中学生们穿着校服,骑着自行车穿梭在绿色田野的场景,画面定格在那一刻,也定格了青春……
或许,我们在不知不觉中开始被生活支配,简单的小小满足感转变成努力争取之后的成就感。
或许,因为怕失去,我们小心翼翼行事,却失去了以前那单纯的快乐。
或许,当我们祈祷着五月天演唱会能如期举行,期待着能和最想同去的人一起分享现场气氛的时候。我们也和他们一样,站在青春的尾巴上,在搏着心中仅存着的一些信仰。 March 03 2 Years in MLOG3-1,距踏入Maersk整整2年。当时的装束,兴奋又紧张的心情依然清晰,只是许多当时欢迎的熟悉的笑脸已模糊……
3-8,两年后和一一相约再次疯狂购物。回味一下,原来穷学生的快乐那么简单……
5-26,原来都快两年了……
7-1,毕业满两年……
10-11,不想长大啊……
11-15,……
……
…… ……
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两年能承载许多成长,但愿今后的每个两年越来越美好……
PS:前几天看了Wall-E,瓦力实在太可爱了~~真想买个回来养养!谢谢姐姐的强力推荐,抱歉某个之前就推荐了我却没陪去看的人!
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